Free

I just want to talk about how wonderful it is to be free. To wake up in the morning and think to myself, “What do I want to do today?” I could hit the snooze button for a 10th time. I could take a shower. I could go to Williams & Sonoma. I could write a post on my blog. I could drive up to Ceasar’s Head. I could go back to sleep. I could stay up till 4am. I could go to my favorite BBQ restaraunt. I could play my music loud since all my neighbors are at work. I could take a motorcycle ride all around Paris Mountain. I could go to Zaxbys. I can do anything I want to. I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do.

I really want to cherish this and dwell on it. Because from time to time I make a decision that takes away my freedom for one reason or another. I made one of those recently. I used to live my entire life like that because I didn’t know any better. But now I’m out of the bird cage. I want to make this blog entry all about the mistake I made so that hopefully it will be harder to make the same mistake again.

Why did I make the mistake? The basic reason is because I wanted to tell somebody what they wanted to hear. I knew that what I promised had a slim chance of working out that way. If I told them the truth as I saw it they would reply by questioning my reasoning. And at that stage of the ballgame I knew they could poke holes faster than I could patch them. But I also knew that my gut feeling on the issue. I knew I might have to compromise things I know are important to pull it off.

So there. Maybe I’ll have a bit more guts next time. Maybe I’ll just tell it exactly how I see it and just let the chips fall. Maybe the deal will fall through for me. Maybe it will go through anyway. On my terms. Either of those ways is better than compromising on what’s important to me.